bones 101-

i realized reading back my last post, that if you don't know anything about bones, nothing i wrote would make much sense. so, i'm going to give you an intro guide to BONES.

where can i find it?: it's on fox, thursdays at 7:00. you can catch re-runs on TNT from like 4-7 on weekdays. they change it up a lot though, so check your tv guide.

who's in it?: david boreanaz and emily deschanel are the two leads. you know david from classics like buffy the vampire slayer/angel. and you know emily because she is zooey's sister, and you all know zooey.

whats it about?: bones, duh. lets break it down:

deschanel plays dr. temperance brennan. she's a forensic anthropologist. if you don't know what that is, she analyzes the bones of dead people and can tell how they died, and how they lived. gets assigned to work with the FBI. she's a legit genius and socially awkward. she puts logic and facts above everything else. she's got some crazy family issues- dead mom, criminal daddy and semi-criminal brother.

boreanaz plays special agent seely booth. (hot, right?) he's a fiercely loyal FBI agent who believes in faith, love and going with your gut. he's a former army sniper. has really cute dimples. would do absoultely anything for his country and the people he loves. also has some abusive, drunk daddy issues. likes to wear bright socks and a belt buckle that says "cocky". affectionately calls brennan "bones". (oh hey, thats the name of the show!)

obviously, two very different people. you've got the brain and the heart. so naturally, they get paired together to solve cases for the FBI. there's the case of the week, and usually some story arc that goes throughout the season.

now if you've ever watched tv before, you know how this game is played. they start off the show, semi hating each other. she thinks he's an idiot, he thinks she's obnoxious, they both think the other is super hot. by the end of season 1, they've got a lot of trust and respect for each other. seasons 2, 3, and 4, have all gone a little deeper into the relationship. starting out with going undercover as husband/wife, and most recently, deciding to have a child together (in non romantic, scientific way, which is how brennan likes things.)

OKAY WHY SHOULD I WATCH?: the relationship between brennan and booth is the number one reason in my books. it's sweet and sexy and meaningful and so honest and lovely. this is tv world, and they can't be together for at least another season, but the writers give us some amazing moments between the two that will have you yelling at your tv "COME ON MAKE OUT ALREADY OMG". and other nice things. :)

CHELSEA, I HATE ALL THIS MUSHY STUFF. WHAT ELSE IS THERE?

okay fine. the mysteries are always interesting. i've learned a lot about anthropology. there's usually some nasty body stuff whenever they find the dead body. it's funny when it needs to be. i've learned to never be the one to call in a murder, because you will be the number 1 suspect. the whole cast is gorgeous. it'll make you smarter.

so there's bones in a nutshell. you can borrow my dvds, watch it online, catch up on TNT, so whatever. just watch it!

bones 5x1- the harbingers in the fountain.

this weeks season premiere of bones was AMAZING. after the majority of critics and fans were disappointed with the season 4 finale, this premiere had a lot to prove.

i don't think anyone was disappointed anymore.

the season premiere, the harbingers in fountain, was chock full of bones goodness. angela has a new physic who knows where a bunch of bodies are buried (and that brennan and booth are totes meant to be), which gives agent booth (david boreanaz, aka love of my middle school life) and dr. brennan (the gorgeous emily deschanel) their first case back after booth's brain surgery/coma. the case isn't actually that important in this episode, which is really the only weakness.

the focus is on booth and brennan and their constantly evolving relationship. this week, booth told brennan he loved her (!!!!!) but quickly took it back saying it was "you know, in a professional, atta girl kind of way." brennan is totally surprised/shocked/freaked/excited, which is obviously why booth clarifies (slash TAKES BACK) the love confession. she follows it up with an "hah, love ya too, atta boy!" but you GUYS! THEY SAID THEY LOVE EACH OTHER! in their own strange way, but it's good enough for now.

there was also the amazing rescue scene: brennan goes after one the suspects on her own and gets herself stabbed in the arm. booth arrives just in time to shoot the bad guy, and comforts brennan. they're both on the floor and all wrapped up in each other and then booth KISSES HER HEAD and CALLS HER BABY. these two are just completely gone and head over heels for each other, it's adorable.

we end the episode with booth still questioning himself. he doesn't feel completely 100% after his brain surgery and can't remember everything about his old life. this is leaving him confused about his feelings for brennan and if they're legit, or a side effect from the coma. now we all obviously know that they are both totally in love, but it should be interesting to see how they come together this season.

and if they aren't together by the end of the season, i will NOT BE AMUSED.

line of the night goes to brennan, after being asked how she felt after being stabbed: "well, they put me on medication, so i'm feeling how people of average intelligence must feel all the time."

up next: the EMMYS! i don't have a whole lot invested in the actual awards this year, but NEIL PATRICK HARRIS. that's all i need. i will watch every moment. and you can watch along with me as i LIVE BLOG/TWEET. woo!

edit:// NOT ONLY IS THERE A HIMYM SNEAK PEAK, BUT 4 MINUTES WORTH OF CLIPS FROM BONES!!!

i have a glee post getting a shiny and ready to go, but first: how i met your mother sneak peek! there's tuxedo night, barney & robin excitement and the general himym amazingness. less than 2 weeks!!!! enjoy it, kids.

SEPT 1ST

oh, my god. you guys.

seriously.

it's september.

do you know what that means?

.....

TELEVISION HAS COME BACK TO ME.

slowly, but surely all my babies are coming home. and i know i've said this before, but i am MOTIVATED to write. school is good and life is good and i'm scheduling time to write in here like a class. so get ready for some quick wit and tv trashing.

so here's a quick outline on when the shows that i will cover are returning.

SEPT 9th

-glee, 7pm FOX*

-so you think you can dance, 8pm FOX

SEPT 14th

-gossip girl, 8pm the CW

SEPT 17th

-bones, 7pm FOX

-fringe, 8pm FOX

-the office, 8pm NBC

SEPT 21st

-how i met your mother, 7pm CBS

-house, 7pm FOX (2 hour premiere)

SOMETIME IN 2010, BECAUSE THE TV GODS HATE ME:

-lost, ABC

-chuck, NBC

-friday night lights, NBC

i'm not checking out many new shows this season (minus glee, which i've already proposed marriage to), but anything that grabs my attention/gets a lot of buzz i'll catch up on over thanksgiving/christmas.

happy tv watching everyone!

* glee actually premieres this wends, but it's a reairing of the pilot with a few special extras. brand new episodes start the 9th. WOO

OKAY. I KNOW I SAID I HATE A NICE FINALE POST PLANNED, BUT LET ME SQUEE FOR A MINUTE.

KRIS ALLEN IS THE AMERICAN IDOL 2009. the last time my favorite won was kelly clarkson. 8 YEARS AGO. the other 6 times, i was indifferent or hated them both. so i'm stoked.

HE BROKE THE AMERICAN IDOL MACHINE. we never saw him until top 36, really. he didn't get the dead wife sob story, or the pimping from audition one. he started out as the pretty boy filler guy. but then he came out with his guitar and his smooth voice and killed it every week. AND BEAT OUT DEAD WIFE GOKEY AND GLAMBERT, who were obviously the chosen two from episode one. i'm so proud of my little idol underdog. too bad he's stuck with that awful song kara wrote.

if his pre idol cd is any indication, his cd is going to be amazing. you can find it online. just google kris allen- brand new shoes, and you can find it.

ROCK ON KRIS.

season finale recap coming up next week, now that i am finally done with school.

AND I HAVE ALOT TO TALK ABOUT KIDS. the finale theme this season seems to be "piss people off". i still have bones/himym/the office/gossip girl to turn things around.

so next week, most likely tuesday, i will get my season finale reviews up. until then, i will be sleeping.

can you be...AWESOME?

right now, words can't even express how much i loved tonight's episode of chuck. until then i will leave you with this nice little list of things that are awesome:

-chuck and sarah. being adorable and in love and talking about feelings!

-john casey. GROUP HUG, YALL!

-capt. awesome being awesome.

-morgan quitting the buymore.

-the beautiful bon iver song playing over chuck/sarah's hotel scene.

-the entire show completely resetting itself.

-BRYCE LARKIN COMING BACK!

-did i mention chuck/sarah? and how much i love them?

-this whole show. it's so perfect.

JOSH SCHWARTZ YOU ARE TOTES FORGIVEN FOR THE OC SEASON 3 AND THE PAST 6 EPISODES OF GOSSIP GIRL.

more later, when i can actually form sentences.

xoxo.

the week so far:

lets start with lost, because OMG IT'S SO GOOD:

this show is screwing with me. and i love EVERY BIT of it.

jack, kate, hurley, sayid, sun, and ben are all back on the island. but only sun & ben (and pilot frank!) have landed in the present. the others are in 1977 with sawyer & crew. why did they split? i have no idea. i'm sure we'll find out soon enough. but seriously, how amazing was this episode? let me count the ways:

1. juliet delivered ETHAN ROM. scary, kidnapping ethan. and her look of masked horror when she realized how the baby was.

2. kate & sawyer are back! well, at least back in the same decade. i have a feeling it's going to be a slow journey for them to get back together (and come on, they're totally getting back together), so i will take my angsty looks and awkward waves. and hey, they're neighbors!

3. sawyers verbal SMACKDOWN with jack. i actually applauded at the end, it was so glorious. of course, everything is bound to blow up in sawyers face, but it's going to be nice while it lasts. oh, and sawyer made jack a JANITOR. way to be amazing, sawyer.

4. SUN KWON. remember in season 1 was she was just this quiet little housewife who was running away from her husband? times have changed.

5. speaking of smackdowns, anyone think kate & juliet might be having one soon? i'm guessing kate has suspected sawyer/juliet are together, because she did not look amused when juliet introduced herself. although maybe jack will woo his way back into juliets heart, with all of his charm, or whatever,

6. baby ben! with little harry potter glasses! although i can't believe that sawyer & crew have gone 3 years without figuring out ben was on the island. maybe he and his dad came in with the new recruits? because you know sawyer & juliet would have been all over baby ben.

7. jacks dad is the creepiest character on this show. scarier than ben and the smoke monster. i can't wait to find out what his deal is.

okay other shows:

gossip girl:

whatever. i'm glad this arc is over. the slutty teacher (honestly, still have no idea what her name was) and that hooker chuck was with were totally killing my gossip girl buzz. but thankfully they're gone, and the episodes coming up look like some classic gossip girl. they better not disappoint.

himym:

this week focused a lot on the lily/ted dynamic, which i love. ted finds out that lily has been behind most of his failed relationships, including robin. so he teds out, and yells at lily a lot. this all happens at 4 in the am because they promised robin they would watch her silly morning show. but they're all bickering and completely miss robin delivering a baby, saving her coworkers from a heart attack & a fire, and something crazy with animals. but in the end ted forgives lily, and forms a marriage pact with robin. which did not amuse me, but we know how it ends up, so i'm not worried.

oh, also marshall and barney were nightgowns and are precious.

american idol:

i hate country week. but i LOVE kris allen. his performance is the only one i really even remember (minus adams weird sexual indian performance, which i still don't know if i like or not). everyone else can leave. i didn't mind alexis being voted off, i thought she was bland, and tried too hard. next week is motown, which will most likely be boring. stupid american idol! why do i let you suck me in?

thanks a lot, SEACREST.

i got sucked into american idol AGAIN. here's my quick thoughts:

-first, STOP BOOING SIMON. HE IS RIGHT. 

-lil round. your pants were so horribly ugly, i couldn't even pay attention to the song. white mom jeans with a poofy crotch? girrrrl. not fierce. 

-I DON'T CARE THAT SCOTTY IS BLIND. i know this makes me heartless, or whatever, but big deal. being blind has nothing to do with your ability to sing. he's not that good of a singer. get over it.

-danny is cute and entertaning to watch. and he didn't pull the dead wife card (I KNOW, I'M HEARLESS), so points for you. and your whole singing everything you do is like marshall in himym, which is presh.

- kris allen is my american idol crush. welcome to the club, lovely. don't let me down. so many have in the past (i'm looking at you, guarini. and blake lewis. and ace young). he did a great job, and if he keeps that cute boy with a guitar act up, he will sail though the competition. and kris, if you feel so inclined to sing some jason mraz or matt nathanson, i might throw a few 100 votes your way. and i don't think i've voted since kelly.

-the girls are WEAK this year. jasmine is completely unforgettable, alison is good, but a little one note for me, lil bores me, and megan looked like a lost puppy dog. i liked alexis, but i got what simon said when he said that she's not as good as she thinks she is. 

-anoop/jorge are boring. they can leave anytime.

-i'm holding judgement on adam. i think he's interesting, but i wouldn't listen to his CD based on what he's shown us so far. (kris, my love. i would have you on repeat. with a picture of you up on my wall. and i would write mr & mrs kris allen on it.)

-everyone else i don't have much of an opinion on. i'm sure i will hate them soon. 

-i think the SURPRISING! SHOCKING! TWIST! is that america votes bottom 3, judges pick who goes. which makes it deliciously catty, and i love it. now these kids are going to be sucking up to simon & crew, and we won't get any of that annoying sassing back that these kids always think is so cute & clever. 

KELLY CLARKSON IS ON TOMORROW!! she can show this crew what a real american idol is. WORK girl. and kelly, your new cd is fabulous and i love it. 

i'm really bad at this:

so, i'm way behind. lets just jump right back into things. 

LOST:

i am so conflicted. this past episode "la fleur" was a very good episode. we learned that sawyers group on the island is now stuck in the 1970's, right in the middle of the dharma initiative's heyday. sawyer formed a big lie to keep his group safe (SOUND FAMILAR, OCEANIC 6?) and they are now working members of the DI. not only are they members of the initiative, sawyer is pretty much one of the head honchos. we also meet amy, who gives birth (thanks to juliet!)  on the island to a boy. and we now get to speculate who the boy is, because it's obviously someone important. popular guesses: ethan or desmond. 

so why the conflicted feelings? i'm not buying the juliet/sawyer relationship. i thought their first scene where he convinced her to stay on the island was really sweet, but the scene in the kitchen was very...saccharine. it's not even an issue of kate vs. juliet (well maybe a tiny little bit) but here's the thing: i like my sawyer bad, with a little bit of good thrown in. this new sawyer, is sweet and brings his girl flowers and is clean shaven. he doesn't even do nicknames anymore! so i understand that there needs to be character development and stuff, but this doesn't even seem like the same guy to me.

here's what this episode did make me excited about: the redevelopment of kate & sawyer's relationship. we got that big speech at the end about how over kate he is, and can't even remember her face, then 5 minutes later when he sees kate on the island, he is all puppy dog eyes. now, the writers have quite a job to do. they are obviously leading back to a kate/sawyer relationship but there's a complication. people (well, the internets) HATE kate. the past season and a half, she has been whiny, boring, and wishy washy. but, everyone LOVES sawyer, and they don't want kate anywhere near sawyer. which sadly, i can understand right now. but i think if the writers set this up correctly, it could be epic. i'm going to save my big theories about the two of the for it's own separate post, because this one is getting long.

FINALLY: my theories!

1. okay. so the O6 (at least jack, kate & hurley) have landed in the 1970s, along with the rest of the left-behinders. we know that young BEN was on the island in the 1970's with his father. so here's my idea: back in the S2 finale, when ben makes the list of people (the triangle + hurley) to bring back to the others, he picked them because he ALREADY KNEW THEM. FROM THE 70's. OMG RIGHT?! we know from dan/charlotte that dan told a young charlotte to never come back to the island, because it would kill her. so the 06 + left behinders (these people need a name asap) obviously have some effect on the people they come in contact with. in the future. or the past? i don't know it hurts my head to think about it too much. basically, they aren't changing the past, because it's the way the past happened. make sense? no? that's okay i'm not sure it i understand either. but i do know it makes me totes excited. 

sorry for the lengthy post, you get a cookie for reading it all though.

what to watch this week:

-chuck, monday 7:00pm (NBC)

-how i met you mother, monday 7:30 (CBS)

-house, monday 7:00 (FOX) 

-bones (my new favorite show, a post is coming) thursday 7:00 (FOX)

-the office thursday 8:00 (NBC)

-friday night lights 8:00 (NBC)

it's "is she hot", not "would you do her." respect the game, man.

IT'S LOST TIME. HOLLA.

(and doesn't my love sawyer look all gorgeous as the island leader? yeah i know)

okay. so lost is back with 2 new hours this week. and they were insane. the last time we saw the island, it had disappeared. we come back to find out that the island is now moving though TIME. crazy right? sawyer thinks so. so did frogurt, but he's dead now. in all honesty, i don't really understand the time travel stuff that well, so i'm not going to try and sound smart with all my therories. 

but, i do have one.

the whispers that were on the island (jack, sawyer, hurley, sayid & locke have all heard them) are the losties in the future/past on the island. so, they are hearing themselves, but in different times.

make sense? it does in my head. lol.

other things i enjoyed:

-DANIEL FARADAY. i have a new lost crush. he is adorable and smart and precious. and his voice is the most soothing voice in the world. he & charlotte are my new island couple, until kate & sawyer are reunited. although from the promo it looks like charlotte won't last long.  

-sawyer being all angsty about losing kate. poor baby. i'll even forgive him for slapping dan. but if sawyer/juliet happens, i will eat my hand. i'm sick of the love triangle/square. just put sawyer/kate together and let them be hot. jeez.

-sun being a badass. i can't tell exactly what she is doing and who she is working with, but i love her anyways. but i am nervous she's going to do something to aaron. 

-ben. i just love him. i love how i can't tell if he is 100% evil, or if there are some good intention underneath the evil. 

lastly, i love this:

jesus christ might not be a weapon, hurley, but a hot pocket is!

i would blog about the office, but it hasn't inspired me lately. i still think it's funny, but i'm just kind of whatever about it, right now. :(

let's call it puzzles!

monday night tv is going to kill me one day:

gossip girl.

....

um. we're in a bit of a tiff, gossip girl. 1st of all: YALE SENDS OUT IT'S ACCEPTANCE LETTERS IN A TEXT MESSAGE?! i know the show is supposed to be all hip and about the power of mass communication, but really? the ivy league texts? i don't buy it, kids.

and dan & serena still make me want to punch somebody. 

and the new shakespeare teacher plot seems dumb, and blair is way better than trying to bring her down. and we can see her & dan's hookup coming from a MILE away. (i totes don't even remember the teachers name. let's call her juliet. because you know, SHAKESPEARE teacher. hah.) 

i did enjoy chuck/lily. they were sweet and i liked them plotting together to take down jack. and THANK YOU JESUS jack bass is gone. as hot as he was, it was time to go. although it seems like attempting rape is bass family trait. charming. 

they also get points for the gilmore girls/rory-at-yale reference. and how fabulous would a paris/blair verbal smackdown be? the world would never recover. 

How I Met Your Mother:

"dude. we should start a BAR!"

i love barney/ted time. the gang spends so much time hating on barney, it's nice to be reminded why these guys are friends. especially after last week, with ted figuring out that barney <3's>

lily/marshall continue to be adorable. i love that they tried to mature (or maTOUR, as everyone insisted on pronouncing it last night) and realized that they like being the cheesy, romantic, tradition-y couple. it's a nice dynamic to the bitterness of barney & robin. (which is why they are perfect together and need to get together ASAP PLEASE) the end with the marching band and the keg of beer and the late new years ever kiss was just so adorable and is exactly why i love this show so much. it's a funny show, but at it's core it's got a huge heart.

line of the night:

blair (of course): you're the one that got into yale? CANCEL THE NELLY YUKI PROJECT.

ps. yay OBAMA! 

LOST IS BACK IN ONE WEEK.

ONE WEEK FROM RIGHT NOW:

I WILL HAVE SEEN THE FIRST TWO EPISODES OF THE SEASON.

WITH LOTS OF SHIRTLESS SAWYER.

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'VE MISSED YOU LOST!

(ps, there will be an actual post about monday night tv, and the season (NOT SERIES PLEASE JESUS) finale of friday night lights. i just needed to squeal for a second.)

i see the signs now all the time.

one of my new years resolution is to write in this more. so lets kick it off with a good one:

monday night is my favorite tv night! we're starting back slow, with only one show on tonight. thankfully, it provided enough drama to last me through the week.

GOSSIP GIRL:

we pick up a month after where left off. rufus hates lily, dan is boring, serena dumped aaron bobby on the plane to buneos aris, jenny is being a good girl again, blair is trying to join a social league to forget about chuck bass, who was off getting trashed & laid in thailand. 

oh and dorota was being awesome. of course.

so, blair is trying to bring chuck back from the dark side, with the help of his (HOT!) smarmy uncle, jack bass. (which, btw is a good detective name)  jack bass drags him back to the US, and blair tries to keep him from getting expelled. they also talk him down from a drunken roof rant, which was heartbreaking. ed westwick is doing a phenomenal job with chucks downwards spiral. the chuck/blair moment when she helps him down from the ledge was gorgeous.

OUR OMG!WTF! moment came at the end. jack bass (i like his whole name, sorry) is getting chuck in the limo to take him home. blair tells him that CHUCK CAN NEVER KNOW ABOUT WHAT HAPPENED ON NEW YEARS EVE. he agrees. they drive off. and we are yelling at josh schwartz because there's no way blair would sleep with JACK?! after she told chuck she loves him?! and we have a week to speculate other, less horrifying options. 

in other news: dan & serena are back together and more boring than ever; little j isn't little j anymore and is actually acting like a decent human being; nelly yuki is awesome; rufus & lily's lovebaby is a boy & they're going on a road trip to find him. oh and we never have to see aaron bobby again, thank jesus.

line of the night:

blair: you obviously don't know him. chuck has a thing for roofs.

LOST COUNTDOWN: 15 DAYS! and word on the street is that my baby sawyer is shirtless from the entire first hour. and angsty. just the way i like him. i can't wait!!

you know you love me.

xoxo gossip girl.